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A followup to the previous entry

Well, the worst has come to pass. It seems that, due to various personal issues as well as the fact that Livejournal is slowly descending into madness, the moderators of the once-great Heartless Fics have announced that they plan to leave the community. Lacking any means to appoint new moderators, this unfortunately means that this spells the end of the community. Perhaps, at a later date, I will mourn for the loss of it in a more official sense; for now, suffice to say that I will miss the old days terribly.
But I will not let that stop me. Indeed, I feel that this shall only serve to invigorate me to greater heights of... mocking fanfiction. Kingdom Hearts fanfiction.
...
Right.
In all seriousness, however, I had always wanted to make my sporks a more regular sort of thing. However, in a community, a spork must pass through the screen of a moderator before ever seeing the light of day. Thus, my schedule was at the mercy of whomever needed to approve such a thing, and would oftentimes not appear until days or weeks later.
However, if I am in charge, I can actually plan. If I am in charge, things can and will be posted more regularly and with greater accuracy. If I am in charge...
Well, you get the idea.
I find it fitting that this is all transpiring so close to the new year. As much as I hate to say it, perhaps there is some wisdom in leaving behind the old and tired (yet beloved) system for something new, fresh and convenient. I will never forget the old community, nor the wonderful people I met there, but the end has come and there is no fighting it. Rather than simply falling down and dying, I instead choose to step forward quickly, to move onwards and upwards. Changes will come, sites will falter and people will leave. But I am willing and able to adapt and move on.
So here's to a new year, a new start, and a new system. Cheers; I'll start posting as soon as possible.

An Announcement, to all interested;

I don't know how many people may, or may not, read this journal at any given time. Up until this point, it had been my hope that no one read it, as it was not especially interesting, and I rarely post anything here. In all fairness, I only use this site to post my sporks; short, MST3K style parodies of various bad fanfictions. Anyone interested can find my sporks at the wonderful community known as Heartless Fics, a.k.a. Those Lacking Brains. It is a wonderful community full of wonderfully wry, witty people that anyone with a sense of humor can readily enjoy.
However, I probably won't be posting there very often in the near future.
To those wondering, no, this has nothing to do with any drama, controversy, or other such event causing me to withdraw from sporking; far from it. I am, in fact, ceasing to post to the community in order to continue posting sporks. It has come to my attention recently that all three of our moderators seem to have vanished into thin air; tragic, I know, but my guess is that they had something more important to do with their lives than to make fun of fanfiction written about a game targeted at 11-16 year-olds. What that could be elludes me.
In any case, however, I refuse to let this unfortunate turn of events spoil my fun or hold anyone back from enjoying a good riff. It recently struck me that, in the past, certain other prolific sporkers have used a personal journal to post sporks, and were quite successful in that endevour. After consulting with my ego, I decided that I am a magnificent enough of a bastard to compare myself to some of the best sporkers our community has ever seen, and that emulation is the right road to take at this point in time.
In short; this is going to be a sporking journal. Any time anyone needs their fix of The Plot Master, this will be here as a shining beacon of Him and His Bloated Sense Of Self-Importance.
This is not to say that I will cease contributing to the aforementioned community; if and when our moderators return, I shall again post to the community, as well as here. If, however, the sad day comes when we realize that our moderators shall not return, it is my intention to open up a new community, open up this journal to the public, or take another such course if needed. I do so love our snarky little art form, and I shall not allow it to go quietly into that sweet goodnight.
So, for all of you who may, or may not be reading this, hear me; Our sporks shall be raised, our Shadows burning into the blackness of the pit, and no badfic shall be spared the course vitriol of our snark. We shall not allow the stark reality of this world rob us of our escapism! Go now, and have your voices be quashed no more!


A stabbity-badfic


Title: A Killers Embrace

Author: meguhanu

Rating:  One for the blatant disregard of common sense, one for badly written abduction, and one for rampant OOC/yaoi.

Full Name (including any titles): Sora, Kairi, Riku, Axel and Roxas

Full Species(es): Baddus Murderous ficcus

Hair Color (include adjectives): As canon, except that Kairi’s hair is on fire.

Eye Color (include adjectives): As canon

Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: As canon

Special Possessions (if any): A knife (Riku’s), and a sassy tee-shirt (Sora’s)

 

Origin: The mind of a fanbrat who just saw Rob Zombie’s Halloween.

Connections To Canon Characters: Peeled off their faces and wore them.

Special Abilities: The ability to easily kill several dozen armed police officers after being stabbed ‘to death’. Also the ability to enjoy rape.

Other Annoying Traits: Where, oh where did Kairi’s brain go?

I Say/Notes: This angers me more than most badfics. I like slasher flicks. This fic somehow managed to screw with all of them, as well as Kingdom Hearts. On an aside, this badfic features the police as well as parents and security guards. They just… suck.

 

Life is just a badfic train a-comin'Collapse )

 

Title: Vines

Author: LexionXimyxLuxdin 

Rating:  originally was going to be four, but one was knocked off because it was blissfully short.

Full name: Zexion and Lexaeus, with a brief mention of Saïx and Marluxia

Full Species (es): Planate Rapicusts

Hair Color (include adjectives): As Canon

Eye Color (include adjectives): As Canon

Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None.

Special Possessions (if any): Zexion’s manga collection, and rapist plants.

Origin: Lil Shop of Horrors, fanbrat version

Connections To Canon Characters: Remember the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers? How the pod people where a bit like plants? Think of it that way.

Special Abilities: Zexion has the magical ability to be raped by plants and not care.

Other Annoying Traits:  Zexion’s a hormonal little eight year old.

 

I Say/Notes: I was actually trying to find a different badfic when I ran across this jewel. It’s amazing that 90% of all LexaeusxZexion fics involve rape. Also, the author’s name gave it all away.

 

 

Enter the Lil' shop of BADFICSCollapse )

Three Sues part Three!

Author: Peacegrl

Rating: One for shameless Kairi replacement, one for rampant OOC, and one more for Super Sues.

Full Species(es): Sueis Replacicus

Hair Color (include adjectives): Brown with ‘Natural’ highlights, thighlength dirty blond, and purple. Not too descriptive, are they?

Eye Color (include adjectives): Sea Blue , Red , Dark Blue.

Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: All three manage to be pale and tan…

Special Possessions (if any): Sueblades.

Origin: The World Where Kairi Never Was.

Connections To Canon Characters: Sues have replaced Kairi and Naminé…

Special Abilities: The ability to steal canon powers.

Other Annoying Traits: They seem to be under the impression that they are me… or, I am them… or something.


I Say/Notes: Big group this time around.

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Author: Peacegrl

Rating: One for shameless Kairi replacement, one for rampant OOC, and one more for Super Sues.

Full Species(es): Sueis Replacicus

Hair Color (include adjectives): Brown with ‘Natural’ highlights, thighlength dirty blond, and purple. Not too descriptive, are they?

Eye Color (include adjectives): Sea Blue , Red , Dark Blue.

Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: All three manage to be pale and tan…

Special Possessions (if any): Sueblades.

Origin: The World Where Kairi Never Was.

Connections To Canon Characters: Sues have replaced Kairi and Naminé…

Special Abilities: The ability to steal canon powers.

Other Annoying Traits: They seem to be under the impression that they are me… or, I am them… or something.


I Say/Notes:
Big group this time around.

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Author: Peacegrl

Rating:      One for shameless Kairi replacement, one for rampant OOC, and one more for Super Sues.

Full Species(es): Sueis Replacicus

Hair Color (include adjectives): Brown with ‘Natural’ highlights, thighlength dirty blond, and purple. Not too descriptive, are they?

Eye Color (include adjectives): Sea Blue , Red , Dark Blue.

 Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: All three manage to be pale and tan…

Special Possessions (if any): Sueblades.

Origin: The World Where Kairi Never Was.

Connections To Canon Characters: Sues have replaced Kairi and Naminé…

Special Abilities: The ability to steal canon powers.

Other Annoying Traits: They seem to be under the impression that they are me… or, I am them… or something.


I Say/Notes: 
 Big group this time around.

 

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Three Sues in one!

 
 
Author: Peacegrl
Rating:  XXX One for shameless Kairi replacement, one for rampant OOC, and one more for Super Sues.
Full Species(es): Sueis Replacicus
Hair Color (include adjectives): Brown with ‘Natural’ highlights, thighlength dirty blond, and purple. Not too descriptive, are they?
Eye Color (include adjectives): Sea Blue , Red , Dark Blue.
 Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: All three manage to be pale and tan…
Special Possessions (if any): Sueblades.
Origin: The World Where Kairi Never Was.
Connections To Canon Characters: Sues have replaced Kairi and Naminé…
Special Abilities: The ability to steal canon powers.
Other Annoying Traits: They seem to be under the impression that they are me… or, I am them… or something.

I Say/Notes:  Big group this time around.
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